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Opinion : I would like to apply for the vacant position of Chief Policeman….

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Today, while having my afternoon tea break, a colleague came up to me and told me they had found the ideal job vacancy for my good self.

What on earth is this job?‘, I enquired. ‘Chief of the Police‘, said my friend who then showed me their portable phone which was showing an article from the news section of this website headlined ‘Thames Valley Police Chief Constable announces decision to retire‘.

Indeed being Chief of Police would be a job that my good self would relish. With me in charge the criminals would have nowhere to hide indeed yours truly would be ideally suited to spearhead a crackdown on crime in High Wycombe.

Rather than sitting in an office block far away my good self would be pro-active and get out on the streets in a mobile office. If my good self saw a shop in Desborough Road with look-outs posted on the door there would soon be one of my officers going inside to see what was going on.

Under my leadership the drunken yobbos on Frogmoor would soon feel the weight of the rarely enforced Public Space Protection Orders (PSPO’s) bearing down on them.

Indeed within a month of my good self being in charge there would probably be no need for the PSPO’s to exist any more.

News would soon get around that Chief of Police Ivor was in control and the scumbags from outside town would not dare turn up with bottles of acid to kill innocent bystanders in Frogmoor.

What’s more there would be an end to the plethora of cars jumping the traffic lights at the junction of The Pastures, West Wycombe Road and Desborough Avenue.

Yes, as my good colleague suggested the Chief of Police would be the ideal job for my good self.

So how does one apply?‘, I asked my friend who then pointed me to the section of the news article which said :

The process for the recruitment of a Chief Constable is set out in guidance published by the Home Office and the College of Policing.

Naturally my good self was hopeful that my impressive list of qualifications and experience would be just what the selection panel were looking for. Indeed yours truly was just about to grab a pen and paper and start my application with the words ‘I would like to apply for the vacant position of Chief Policeman….‘.

However before rushing into things yours truly decided to take a look at this ‘guidance’, which is available to view at this link.

According to the headline on the ‘Updated guidance for appointing chief officers‘ page it says :

The most senior officers in policing could be recruited from other law enforcement agencies and some overseas forces under newly published College of Policing guidelines.

The guidance page ends up with the text :

The guidance is not statutory but it sets the national standards which forces would be expected to refer to during any recruitment process.

So, the guidance is not statutory but it sets the standard of any recruitment process! That’s a contradiction! So the recruitment process doesn’t have to follow the guidance (so it’s not statutory) but it sets the standards (i.e. it should be followed). Surely if the guidance sets the national standards it should be statutory too! With rules like this is it any wonder modern day policing is in such a mess with criminals making a mockery of the law?

According to the ‘non statutory’ guidance ‘Chief constable applicants need to have held an assistant chief constable role previously‘.

Oh dear, there goes my application. In my opinion this clause is going to restrict new thinking, shut out new blood or anyone who isn’t part of the ‘old school’ from the police.

It’s about time new thinking was introduced to the fight against crime, assuming of course the police are actually still interested in fighting crime these days.

At least, as mentioned earlier, the candidates can be from ‘some overseas forces‘. My suggestion to tackle the crime problems of Wycombe would be to get the Philippine President, Rodrigo Duterte, to head up the selection panel for the new Chief of Police.

Indeed, with his impressive track record of cracking down on drug related crime (‘According to the Philippine National Police the death total passed 7,000 in January 2017, after which the police stopped publishing data‘), I’m sure a Chief of Police selected by Mr Duterte would simply not pass by a shop with a look out apparently standing watch in the door way….

What do you think?

My blogs are published every Tuesday and Friday evening around 8.00pm here on the WycombeToday.com website.

You can also follow me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ivor.wycombe or on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Ivor_Wycombe.

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