Now all the main parties have released their ‘manifestos’ my good self has been thinking about what would be in my ‘manifesto’ if yours truly were to stand for elected office.
Of course my knowledge of local issues, especially in Wycombe, would put me at an advantage to everyone else.
So, purely for fun of course and with a pinch or two of irony, here are the key points that would be in ‘my manifesto for Wycombe and beyond’ that comes with the headline slogan of ‘Making life better for us all‘.
Over the years the social ‘council housing’ has been sold off and now a plethora of ‘housing associations’ provide accommodation to those needing a roof over their head.
Isn’t it about time this trend and was reversed and once again the social houses were owned and controlled by a municipal local government organisation?
To make sure that crime did not flourish in the social housing neighbourhoods anyone with a criminal record who causes trouble would immediately lose their right to social housing.
Isn’t it about time that bonfires were banned during the summer months and daylight hours in the Autumn and Winter?
Anyone who is inconvenienced by a nuisance bonnie should be able to call the fire brigade to have it extinguished with the full cost of putting out the bonfire would be charged to those who lit the rampant smoke pile in the first place.
Surely any town with more than 100,000 residents should have a hospital with fully functioning A&E department within five miles of the town centre?
I would put an end to the madness of people from Wycombe having to travel miles to nearby towns for routine appointments when there is a hospital that once possessed all the services in our town centre.
Wycombe was one of the first towns to have a ‘Special Parking Area’ (SPA). I feel this area needs to be extended to cover the whole of the town and not just the town centre.
As part of the extended SPA a special hotline would be created where residents can report vehicles parked on the pavement (obstructing pedestrians) or parked across a dropped kerb (blocking driveways). The vehicles in question would be immediately towed away with the owners liable for the costs incurred. If the owners don’t pay then the vehicle would be sold with all proceeds going to the local government authority.
In a post-Brexit world we need to look further afield than Europe for workers to make the UK economy competitive throughout the world.
Wouldn’t it be a good idea if the Immigration Health Surcharge was doubled, from £1,000 to £2,000, for overseas non-EU workers?
Yes, that makes perfect sense and by increasing the financial burden on them it would definitely help to encourage foreign workers to come to the UK.
Obviously to hold elected office one needs to possess strong leadership capabilities, after all strong leadership is the key to success. We all know that good leaders are hard to find but luckily my good self has very strong leadership capabilities.
To be a good leader one must be prepared to take unpalatable decisions after all that’s the manifestation of true leadership potential which all good leaders, like myself, have.
So to prove my leadership capabilities wouldn’t it be a good idea to take on a section of the community to show the rest what a strong leader like myself is capable of doing?
A crackdown on single mothers would not be a good idea though and besides they have had enough stick over the years. A crackdown on other sections of the community could be seen as not politically correct or just not palatable.
What it really needs is to find a section of the community who won’t fight back, are docile and easy prey to my strong leadership capabilities.
I know! Let’s punish the pensioners. They may have worked hard to build the society that we know today but now they are just sitting around drawing their pensions, eating their dinners, watching TV with free television licences and riding around town on their free bus passes. The rotten scumbags!
Withdrawing their winter fuel allowance should do the trick nicely and show everyone what strong leaders are capable of doing as well as boosting my ego too!
Of course a few of the elderly may die of hypothermia or require hospital care as a result but so what? To ease the burden on the health service the rules around the funding of care for the elderly could be changed to introduce a ‘death tax’ whereby the Government takes all the pensioners assets once they have died apart from a token amount, say £100,000. Sorted! I must be a good leader to think of that one! Yippee! Whoopee!
So there were are, my manifesto for Wycombe and the Country should yours truly ever decide to stand for election.
I just hope that none else steals any of my policies after all that would be most gutting especially my excellent ideas on ‘Employment’ and ‘Leadership’….
What do you think?
My blogs are published every Tuesday and Friday evening around 8.00pm here on the WycombeToday.com website.